hakeswill (hakeswill) wrote,

silly LJ

It's been very difficult to get anywhere on the LJ site recently. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...


I spent most of Saturday relaxing. It was my first day off since Sarah left, so I slept in late, I played two games of Blood Bowl (http://www.angelfire.com/games/bbowl/index.html), and I spent even more time on the phone with Sarah than I did on the computer! All in all, it was a good day.

On Sunday, I worked from 8am until 11:30pm. The XPN show Sleepy Hollow played Jane Siberry's song from The Crow again. I think it's a sign that I should post it in my journal. Sarah called with a musical trivia question during the dinner period. She asked "Who sang Black Velvet?" I immediately replied "Alannah Myles." It was nice to hear her voice, and she called back a little while later, but I can't recall the reason why. I finished the Illearth War, and started reading Congo by Michael Crighton. Book two of the Thomas Covenant series was more of the same - despair, cowardice, battling for sanity, and loss. Somehow, I doubt that book three will be a happy wrapping up of the tale. Congo is very interesting. Written in 1980, it is a factual tale about a trip in 1979. Stranger than fiction... I called Sarah shortly before closing, and talked to her for a bit more. Then I went home and called her again!

Monday was pretty slow. I saw my ex walking towards the Post Office while I was waiting for the time safe to open. She was walking towards the Book Exchange while I left the store to take the deposit over to the bank. I acted like I didn't see her, and kept on walking around the corner away from her. I had a strong urge to talk to her, but nothing productive would have come of it, and I wouldn't have known what to say. She shut me out of her life. I can't force her to explain her actions.

Sean came over while Angel and I were getting ready for the lunch customers. It looks like we will not be living together after this lease runs out if Sarah moves here. I refuse to live with Mike after this lease is done, and if Sarah does move here, Sean said he doesn't want to be a third wheel. So, one way or the other, I will not be living with someone that I would like to. Still, I understand his reasoning.

I finished Congo today, and enjoyed it. Onward to the third Thomas Covenant book!

After work, I played some Blood Bowl. I made another Skaven team based on Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. Hehehe...

And now I have just gotten off of the phone with Sarah again. Sigh. The distance is difficult, but the waiting is worse. She has until the end of June to decide what she wants to do regarding us. I don't want to pressure her, and I am doing my best not to. The fact that I have made my decision already regarding her makes it frustrating. Part of me still wants to cut and run, as the possibility of rejection is intolerable. But the rest of me knows that she is worth the risk. To make matters worse, her best girlfriend is spending an inordinate amount of time with her boyfriend, and it is making me very jealous.

There was more that I wanted to post earlier, but I can't remember it now. Damn you, Livejournal. Yes, I know I could have written it elsewhere. But what's done is done.

  • Sorrow - by The National

    Sorrow found me when I was young, Sorrow waited, sorrow won. Sorrow that put me on the pills, It's in my honey, it's in my milk. Don't leave my…

  • Strange Girl - by The Airborne Toxic Event

    It was an old song, From Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me that she sang. It was an old line, I kept with me with me with me when she rang. You're such a…

  • Heart's A Mess - by Gotye

    Pick apart The pieces of your heart And let me peer inside Let me in Where only your thoughts have been Let me occupy your mind As you do mine…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.