hakeswill (hakeswill) wrote,

Sarah is gone, so it's time to update

WOW! What an amazing week! I purposely stayed offline for the most part, and I think it was for the best. I only checked emails periodically in case there was some sort of emergency. Anyways, here are some thoughts about the week.

On Sunday, I made it to the bus terminal with plenty of time to spare. I asked the woman at the Greyhound desk if there was a specific gate that the Canadian bus would arrive on, and she said no. I decided against sitting down and reading the book I had brought on the train, so I watched the passengers disembark off of an 8:40 arrival instead. There was a very attractive woman walking towards me, but I didn't know if it was Sarah or not. She kept approaching me, and her smile widened noticeably. I asked, "Sarah?" and it was her! After a hug and a kiss, I helped to carry her bags, and we chatted on the way to the Septa station. We took the train back to Paoli, and walked to my house. After that, we didn't leave the house much for three days! Sarah and I are as comfortable together in person as we are online and on the phone. With regard to sex, all I will say is that she is insatiable, and that it is like we were made for each other.

We went out to dinner with my parents on Monday night to the Thai Orchid. I took her over to Pizza Hut to meet some of my coworkers on Tuesday, and we went to Wawa as well. At some point during her time down here, we watched Beautiful Girls, Watch It, Big Trouble in Little China, and LA Story.

On Wednesday, we went to Le Saigon with my parents and my sister Kerry, and then Kerry, Sarah, and I went to the King of Prussia mall for some shopping. I bought some yummy candles at Illuminations (Lemon Meringue Pie, Pumpkin Pie, and Honeydew), some cookies from the Great American Cookie, and some truffles at the Lindt store. Sarah and Kerry both insisted they didn't want any cookies, but after I bought a dozen, they changed their minds.

Sarah was planning on leaving Thursday around 6pm to take a bus up to Utica, NY, and then drive to LA with other members of her theater ministry. She couldn't get in touch with the driver, however, and I was a bit worried. So, I bought her a plane ticket to LA as a present for her, and the extra days she spent here were her present to me!

On Thursday, Sarah and I went into Philadelphia, and my brother Kyle showed us around for a while. We went up to the top of City Hall, underneath the statue of William Penn. The view was amazing. Sarah got to see the Liberty Bell, although by the time we got there, the building was closed. We had some decent pizza at Lorenzo's on South Street. Also, I bought The Matrix and X-Men on DVD, and Miles Davis' Kind of Blue on CD.

On Friday, we had dinner with my parents at their home, and then went out drinking with my friend Buck and his designated driver, Joe. Buck did his best to be abrasive, but Sarah had a great time, and actually got a little tipsy. Joe and I talked about the wonders of ice cream, and when we got back to my house, I showed him my freezer. He looked at the fifty or so pints, and was very impressed.

On Saturday, we watched the Crying Game. We didn't do anything exciting, but that was fine by me. Most of the day was spent just talking. Before we went to bed, we watched X-Men.

Sunday, I had to work after getting five hours of sleep. I thought that I was on from 8am until 11:30pm, but my boss was nice, and I was able to leave at 4:30, since Maria was still on the schedule as the closing manager. While I was at work, Sarah went to church with my parents, and had lunch. She came over to Pizza Hut around 2pm, and made the work much more bearable, but also slower. Hehehe.

Sunday night was not as much fun. She talked about the future more seriously than she has before, and I was scared about losing her. She said something along the lines of, "There is a possibility that I will love you, but not be able to have you as a boyfriend." It sounded like a statement meant to soften the blow, and not just a possibility. It hurt a lot. After that, I started backpedalling, and began raising walls between us. We didn't get to sleep until very late, for a variety of reasons, and then we had to get up at 5:30 this morning. I still felt uncomfortable. We talked some more, but I wasn't listening very well. The main problem seems to be the choice between her ministry and me. She can't have both. Compromise is vital to any relationship, but some things have no middle ground. We walked over to the Paoli Limo pickup point, and I saw her off around 7:15.

She called me at work around 10:30am, but my eyes still hadn't opened with regards to how much I was hurting her by withdrawing.

Now I know. When she calls from LA around 6:30pm, I hope she will understand how much I love her, and how sorry I am regarding my immature behavior. I should be someone constant, someone safe, and I really fucked that up these past 24 hours. Saying I am sorry does not change what I did. Actions speak louder, but I will do my best to make it up to her, and never act like that again.

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