July 1st, 2002


I feel old.

Happy birthday to me...
I am now thirty three...


I am maturing, but the cost is too high sometimes. I don't think I will ever be allowed to make up for my mistakes with Lela. And I can't bring myself to be a close friend with Sarah anymore. Sigh.

"Love is everything they said it would be..."


So, what have I learned in 33 years?

People suck.
I am people.
I suck, but I am still evolving.
Sometimes, I have hurt others just because they are within my area of control. I regret that, but it's still the truth. I am trying not to do it anymore.

I think the most important thing to realize is that everyone will disappoint you at times. There are no exceptions. It depends on how they react when you confront them, and whether they change or not. Forgiveness is SO important, but so hard at times. And sometimes, you just have to cut your losses. It's better in the long run, although it hurts like a bitch.