February 17th, 2002

vortex

even deeper - by nin

i woke up today
to find myself in the other place
with a trail of my footprints
from where i ran away

it seems everything i've heard
just might be true
and you know me
(well you think you do)

sometimes, i have everything-
yet i wish i felt something

do you know how far this has gone?
just how damaged have i become?
when i think i can overcome
it runs even deeper

in a dream i'm a different me
with a perfect you
we fit perfectly
for once in my life i feel complete-

and i still want to ruin it
afraid to look
as clear as day
this plan has long been underway

i hear them call
i cannot stay
the voice inviting me away

do you know how far this has gone?
just how damaged have i become?
when i think i can overcome
it runs even deeper

everything that matters is gone (everything that matters is gone)
all the hands of hope have withdrawn (everything)
could you try to help me hang on?
it runs...

i'm straight
i won't crack
on my way
and i can't turn back

i'm okay
i'm on track
on my way
and i can't turn back

i stayed
on this track
gone too far
and i can't come back

i stayed
on this track
lost my way
can't come back

i stayed
on this track
gone too far
and i can't come back

i stayed
on this track
lost my way
can't come back

i stayed
on this track
gone too far
and i can't come back

i stayed
on this track
lost my way
can't come back


http://www.rexer.com/nin/index.html

I read the lyrics for the fragile (yet again) while I was on the train into Philly. Wonderful(ly depressing) - thanks, Trent!
happy!!

recent (non)events

Friday night was stressful at work. Greg and Maria both requested off, so we were understaffed. I had one customer get very pissed off at me, but the amusing thing is that I wasn't trying to provoke him. This will be a case of the boy who cried wolf, though. Hehehe...

Saturday night was my brother's birthday party. He rented out SoMa from 8 until 10, and after that it was open to the public as well. It's a tiny little bar in Philly. The music got progressively louder as the night went on, and the cigarette smoke accumulated. Hmmmmm - crowded, stuffy, and lots of alcohol. Sounds like my idea of hell. The music wasn't too bad, though. There were quite a few attractive women there, but they all seemed to be with someone. My dad tried to play matchmaker for me, and brought over a single woman (as far as I know). However, it was almost impossible to carry on a conversation in there. She was nice, though. The last book that she read was a Prayer For Owen Meany, which earned her points with me.

I went home on the 12:10 train, and got some troubled sleep. Off to work for 15 and a half hours...
sunset

myself and Freud

"Dr. Freud, why did I have sexual dreams last night about two different women?"

"Zis sleep, vas it restful?"

"No, not at all. I woke up repeatedly, and I only slept for five hours."

"Ah, zen you haf two reasons. Von, you are relatively young, and are still horny at times. Reason two, you did not get any REM sleep. Tell me, were either of zem your mother?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Sheesh."

*grin*