October 27th, 2001


the cycles continue

Sarah and I are not communicating with any frequency lately. Her computer is broken at home, our schedules conflict, my long distance service can't be change because Verizon is our DSL supplier... The list goes on. She asked me what to do in a reply to my most recent entry.

I don't know.

She is right. I am not happy with the short time we can talk during some of her lunch hours. I want more. I need more. I am being forced to distance myself from her, and it worries me. However, I am willing to wait this part of our relationship out. The bad part is that the less I think of her, the more I think of my last love. The old fears resurface. Am I going to screw up this new relationship? Have I learned enough to make this one work? Have I suffered enough yet?

I have been listening to Disintegration every night while I sleep. The lyrics resonate within me. I think the next song of the week will be from one of the singles off of that album.