August 9th, 2001


I went out to dinner with my mom on Tuesday

The food was only passable, but we had a nice conversation. I tried to explain how I am feeling, with regards to my ex and her silence. My brain can grasp the fact that she is gone, and has even come up with several possibilities for why she is acting the way she is. My heart is still in denial, and hurting. I think that is part of my problem. I can wrap my mind around almost anything, but my heart is still immature. I didn't even start dating until I was 28.

It's tough being a lonely misanthrope.

Anyways, after dinner, we went to the QVC outlet right across the street. I found some really wonderful lavender candles, and my mom insisted on buying them for me. There were five, staggered in height, and they were only $20.88! When I went back home, she took the smallest one, but the other four are helping to scent my bedroom.

I started reading A Room With A View, by E.M. Forster. I loved the movie, and of course I am thinking of Helena Bonham Carter and Julian Sands as I read it. In this case, I don't think it detracts from the book.