hakeswill (hakeswill) wrote,
hakeswill
hakeswill

ow

Well, I saw my ex today, two days before she was due to arrive down here.

I went over to the store that her mother works at, since it is so close to Pizza Hut. I was going to ask her if she had heard any news about my ex, and she was there with her! My first emotion was shock. I couldn't tell you what she was wearing. All I could do was look at her face, and say hi. She explained that she had just gotten in. I hugged her, but it was awkward... Then I told her I would like to talk with her, and she said they were just leaving. My emotion was now dismay. I had to go back to the store, since I was running it, and noone else was there to answer the phones. I wrote down my schedule for the next two weeks, and went out to give it to her, since a driver had come back from deliveries. She was sitting in her mother's car, looking at a map. I told her I was working crazy hours, and she said she would be shortly at her summer job as well. Then I went back into Pizza Hut. Then I felt despair.

After not seeing her for so long, she would rather look at a map than talk to me? Am I that unimportant to her? I felt numb, totally out of her life. I blinked back the tears and kept on working. Around 9, I called WXPN and requested Seasick, Yet Still Docked, but they didn't play it.

Around 10, I starting feeling better again. At least getting depressed over her doesn't last weeks anymore. Am I misconstruing how she feels about me? Was she startled to see me as well? I don't know, but I would like to find out. I am writing her a letter tomorrow. I still want to be in her life, if she will let me...

Am I a masochist or just hopeful? I want to be with her again, even though that wouldn't be possible for years. I love her, and I would do almost anything for her. I wish I was telepathic, but I fear what I might find in her thoughts if I was.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments